Sunday, February 17, 2019

writer's block

I'm experiencing this phase where I get frustrated by my own words. I'm so fed up with them, they sound so...pretentious, pseudo-philosophic, fake, to me.

I don't know, I guess I really want to find that balance where I don't give too much away and yet really, really capture what I'm feeling in a simple, honest way. And it ends up being neither, maybe. Some entries I've made private...but they are the most raw, the most truthful of them. It's a shame we feel like we have to hide our own truths. Or dress them up until they are unrecognizable.

I'm starting to wonder if a blog is the best solution, but I really like typing things out, it keeps up with my thoughts better than the old fashioned way, plus I can edit them later however I want, though perhaps this is not a virtue so much as a way of deceit. What compels me later to change what I have written? Is it a drive to reveal what's underneath, or a desire to veil it?

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