Sunday, October 7, 2012

dorian's mistakes

I don't want this blog to be paused so long on such a negative note, especially since that chapter of my life has thankfully reached a satisfying period. What has taken its place are more frivolous problems instead. I savor the pettiness of these new worries, knowing deep down that it's a sign that the big picture is quite rosy. Rosy hardly ever breeds inspiration though, which is why this blog has stalled and sputtered. Still, I can't bear to leave it in so desolate a place anymore. It had escalated to a positively alarming note, and I want to rescue it. And to rescue myself from sinking back into that time whenever I come back here.

More or less, this blog is the mirror to my dorian gray -- it soaks up the hideousness of my life and is hidden away -- and I don't think this is a bad thing. Everyone should have a place to pour their darkness into, whether it's another human heart or just a blank page. Dorian's downfall is not in the mirror's existence but in his refusal to look at its reflection. Still, I need my reflection with a little bit of milk. So this post is nothing but an update, a reassurance that a particular reflection has been painted with too-sharp strokes, an attempt to round out the edges, a pledge to learn from Dorian's mistakes.

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