Friday, February 18, 2011

pit stop

So this is the first week I've had to adjust to a new schedule...with vast amounts of free time. I guess I've been lucky enough to come across a few events that filled it up better. However, I can't help but feel like this newfound euphoria of unfilled slots will wear off soon. Like the second month of summer, a lack of structure has always bored, frustrated, and slightly terrified me. There is, of course, work that has been neglected, work I almost can't bear to face because of how abandoned I've left them.

That's the thing--when you're racing along a road threatening to reach a million forks, it's okay if a few projects bounce out of the back trunk. But now that some forks have closed, and I'm forced to step out and examine a flat tire, all I can see are the empty spaces where my baggage used to be, the barely visible dots of my belongings that litter the road I've conquered, and the long, stretching, gray snake of a line beyond me. As I stand under a dry, heated sun, I begin to fear the last hundreds of miles might not have counted at all.

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