re-education

I feel like I haven't written in here for a while, at least not personal things. Even though I really wanted to record them somewhere, I'd stopped myself for fear of whom my audience might constitute. However, I think my desire to pour memories into words is outweighing the apprehension.

There were, of course, escapades that made great material for lighthearted gossip. They provide great release but evoke very little emotional unveiling for me. Then came the major plotline of the week, which, at this point, has become such a familiar pattern I hardly think it deserves yet another rehashing. My mind seems to feel the same way, as it has mostly vacillated between the realms of indifference and fatigue since. I sort of just feel...exhausted, not at the specific situation but the fact that an encore was not something I was looking for.

On a practical level, the timing is impeccable. The let down came at the tailwind of a letting go, molding my reaction into one of almost detached interest rather than a melodramatic internal affair. On the other hand, I almost miss the exquisite pangs that accompany struggling for something I care about. It's being a really long time since I really felt anything of such magnitude. Maybe not even in three years. And while the fluffy stories are fun enough, I can't help but feel like I have missed something crucial in my reformed education.

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