“If you reveal everything, bare every feeling, ask for understanding, you lose something crucial to your sense of yourself. You need to know things that others don’t know. It’s what no one knows about you that allows you to know yourself.”
—
Don DeLillo in Point Omega
I had a similar conversation today about how there are things one knows that she will never tell out loud. Not even to her mother or the boy she is in love with or her journal. Some secrets are tantamount to the most physically impenetrable of safes. And it's not because of their precious value, but because of the value in their transaction. What happens when it is transferred to another? Will the sheer weight of them (embarrassment, shame, the heaviest of emotions) anchor down a relationship that would have otherwise taken flight? These are safes we are sure that no sliver of chance could ever peep out of. Though the thought that they represent our most accurate selves? Shudder. There will indeed be keys that allow us to know these selves, though for all but the bravest of us, they lie abandoned, faintly glittering in the shadow of our pretenses.
**
Monday, September 27, 2010
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