fight or flight

I've been tagged in a lot of pictures online recently and I've untagged probably a third of them. Usually I pretend I'm above this kind of silliness, but my burgeoning face in the photos is more than cringe-worthy enough. Every time I go back to college I gain some weight, and every time I gain weight it goes to my face. I hate it. And I also hate myself for saying this: I really just don't like myself when I get to this point. I don't like the way I look, and I hate the way it makes me feel. It's all the consequences of my lack of self-control literally stamped on my face. And it doesn't matter if some don't see it. Out of towners didn't know what the scarlet letter meant, but that didn't change the weight of the shame it carried. My friends think I'm crazy, my mother, even more predictably, promptly tells me to lose 10 lbs. I can't tell who swims in the deeper end of delusion. I can't tell which admonition will get me out. If you meet self-loathing, should you simply cross over to another path or blast it away from this one?

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