In response to the last, it has never happened as of now, because you won't even look at me, or pretend to. (Though how could you have pretended to?) However, I have no real feelings about it now (like I had none to the first snowflakes that drifted today, sparse and listless). It can be the project of the future (I've given up the possibility of treating it as nonconsequential, everything to me has too much consequence. I've decided I can't (or won't) change that as for now. Just like how you said you won't about you, because you're too (since you think age is an acceptable criteria for this) young.
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