It was fine, all fine, I suppose. I guess I'm just not that sort of a girl, who does that sort of a thing, but then, why do I have to label myself anything? Why do I have to *be*? Why can't I just live?
My nonchalantness shocks me a little. It's just...whatever. Is it? Is it supposed to be whatever? Is it only whatever because the person I care about is separate from the person I have fun with...so that now I need not stir up some new obsession?
"...so innocent" Looking back, I decide that this is the pivoting moment. When, instead of taking offense, I realize that perhaps this is what I am now, and what kind of person I'm supposed to be with, and that gap, well, that gap can't be mended. Or maybe, I no longer want to mend it.
**
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