Sunday, March 8, 2009

pause, rewind, please

What the hell is wrong with me?

I can't believe I've never learned.

Why do I go after the people who won't give me what I want, instead of the people who will?

Why do I build up illusions, believe them, and crumple into an insecure mess when they shatter before my eyes?

Why am I so idiotic??????????????????

Why can't I take responsibility for what I do, and what I know I will do? Is there such a disconnection between the present me and the future one?

How can I allow myself to detach like that?

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