Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Disillusionment

College was so much fun for me. It was a whirlwind, a blast, a f--king smorgasbord, whatever. So so fun, so much fun I never slowed down.
Now the pace slowed me down, and I don't know where I am.
It's like this instability, like I'm in this giant field, and I reach my arms out hoping to hold on to a tree, so maybe I won't be so scared of spinning, so maybe I won't feel so unbalanced.
I had those trees.
Except...now...the trees are shifting...closer to some and further away from others. In this field, every tree is shifting, moving around, like they are on mobile, volatile vulcano lava.
Every tree...except me.
What makes me hate change so much? When I find something, I hold on like I never ever want to let go. There are some things that I grasp tightly in my hand like precious stones...but others might not feel the same...so the sapphires and diamonds spill to the ground unceremoniously...and before I could stoop to pick them up...the lava moves yet again...and I'm lost...
Yet Again.

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